I'm an online dating consultant and profile writer who has helped over 1000 singles with their dating profiles. Ask me anything!

StacyKaryn
Feb 24, 2018

It all started a few years ago - helping out random friends with their Tinder profiles. Shortly after that, I met someone on Tinder myself, who ended up becoming my husband! I'm now a full-time dating consultant, and I write profiles for people nearly every day. I've since been featured on numerous websites, including Bustle, AskMen, Business Insider, and PopSugar.

My specialty is online dating, so feel free to ask any burning questions you may have!

For more about my services, feel free to check out my website.


StacyKaryn says:

This AMA will end Feb 25, 2018 3PM EST

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Do you get updates from your clients about their dating success?
Feb 25, 2:52PM EST0

Yes, I do! My past clients often send me messages with updates on their new relationships, and hearing this type of news is one of my favorite parts of my job! 

Feb 25, 2:59PM EST0
What are some ideas for a good first date?
Feb 25, 1:00PM EST0

This depends a bit on your situation. If you are an avid dater who is going on first dates all the time, it’s important to prevent monotony by doing more “out of the box” first dates. This can be anything from meeting up at an arcade to going wine tasting.

However, if you don’t go on first dates very often, I would suggest meeting up at a bar or coffee shop that’s familiar to you. This will help add some comfort to a situation that you may not be super comfortable with in the first place.

Either way, I would highly recommend finding a way to sit next to or perpendicular to your date during the first meeting. This will help to alleviate a bit of discomfort while creating an environment in which it’s easier to open up to each other. 

Feb 25, 1:45PM EST0
How did you manage to tackle your differences with your husband before marriage?
Feb 23, 3:15PM EST0

My husband and I are very different! But instead of figuring out how to overcome our differences, we have learned how to benefit from them. It’s great to be different from your partner. You can learn from each other, be surprised by one another, and ultimately balance each other out!

Feb 24, 8:54AM EST0

What is the biggest mistake people make with their profiles?

Feb 23, 12:00PM EST0

The #1 deadliest sin that I have seen across many dating profiles is the use of negativity! Whether it’s a stated disapproval towards the dating process, a short rant about the annoying messages you have been getting, or a seemingly innocent remark about your appearance, these all are very harmful to your online presence. Luckily, this is a very easy fix. Just remove the negativity and replace it with something positive. :)

Feb 24, 8:50AM EST0
Have you taken any educational course or classes to become a dating consultant?
Feb 23, 9:02AM EST0

The education that led to me becoming a dating consultant was more of a combination of research, books, online courses, and real-world case studies. Learning is one of my biggest passions, and I make it a point to continuously research and learn about what’s going on in the dating world in order to provide the best possible service to my clients.

Feb 24, 8:46AM EST0

What are the major differences between online dating and real-time dating?

Feb 23, 4:02AM EST0

I actually see “online dating” and “real-time dating” to be quite intertwined. Online dating should lead to real-time dating eventually, so it’s important to be as authentic as possible when online in order to make for a smoother transition.

And as for the differences between the two, online dating tends to act as a nice protective shell for many people. It’s easier to step out of your comfort zone, say things you wouldn’t normally say, and take risks you wouldn’t usually take. In my opinion, this can be a great thing! It can allow people to go on dates with each other regardless of how shy or nervous one of them may initially be. But once jumping into real-time dating, the shell disappears. There’s nothing left to hide under and we are forced to present our true selves. But this is great too! It's a necessary step that we need to take in order to find a suitable match.

Feb 24, 8:42AM EST0

Why do you think an individual needs consulting when it comes to an online dating profile?

Feb 23, 1:32AM EST0

Not everyone needs a profile consultation. However, if someone happens to be experiencing little to no results when it comes to online dating, I would definitely recommend getting extra help. That said, some people also come to me when they want to take their results from “great” to “amazing”, so there is generally always room for improvement.

Feb 24, 8:36AM EST0

What is your strategy of consulting? How long would you collaborate with a particular client?

Feb 22, 8:36PM EST0

At the moment, most of my consultation sessions are text based. But the length of time depends heavily on the issue at hand. Some advice sessions can be completed in a manner of minutes/hours, while some bigger projects may require a week + of collaboration.  

Feb 24, 8:33AM EST0

Do you think language and communication skills are important for dating online?

Feb 22, 7:00PM EST0

Totally! You could have the world’s best profile, but if you aren’t able to come across as charming and wonderful through texting, the game is likely over. That said, you don’t necessary to have perfect grammar and a dazzling vocabulary (although good grammar definitely helps). But you do need to come across as likeable and friendly. This can be done through a proper use of emojis and a nice expression of interest in the other person.

Feb 24, 8:31AM EST0

How is an individual’s physical appearance playing a role in online dating?

Feb 22, 12:20PM EST0

Physical appearance plays a huge role in dating, but maybe not in the way that everyone assumes. You don’t have to have perfect genes to be successful. It’s more important to be well-groomed, well-dressed, friendly/flirty, and comfortably confident with who you are.

Feb 24, 8:28AM EST0

How is it difficult to exhibit or express about oneself on an online dating platform?

Feb 22, 11:56AM EST0

Many of my clients have expressed that they find it very difficult to write about themselves when it comes to online dating. I believe that this is because it is hard to show off the best parts of your life and personality without coming across as arrogant. But it is definitely doable. ;)

Feb 24, 8:26AM EST0

What are the major drawbacks do you find with the youth today?

Feb 21, 10:17PM EST0

Hmm, this isn’t really my area of expertise. Especially as a dating consultant, I deal only with adults! But I think the youth is great! They’re our future. I’m just trying to keep up by learning how to code. :)

Feb 24, 8:14AM EST0

What are the major reasons that lead to online dating fails?

Feb 21, 8:33PM EST0

Dishonesty, bitterness, meanness, self-centeredness, and negativity.

Basically all bad vibes will eventually lead to some sort of online dating fail. If you put bad vibes out there, you’re going to attract them as well. But if you give away good vibes, you’ll be setting yourself up for success! 

Feb 24, 8:10AM EST0

What are the best ways to build trust with someone on online dating?

Feb 21, 7:59PM EST0

It is very important to build up trust when online dating, so I’m glad you asked! The first thing you can do is to make sure to have between 4-6 pictures of yourself on your profile. If you only have a couple of pictures, it’s not going to be enough to make the viewer comfortable with you. But when you do upload pictures, avoid using pictures of you making direct eye contact with a serious expression. These can be way too intimidating for online dating. Also, fill out your entire profile. Don’t make it too long, but do make it look complete. Other than that, use the occasional emoji and exclamation mark. Avoid negativity. And don’t be afraid to open up to the other person!

Feb 24, 8:05AM EST0

What differences did you see with your husband when you first met after dating online?

Feb 21, 11:35AM EST0

To be honest, our whole text exchange before meeting was probably around 4-5 lines long, so I didn’t have too big of an idea of him built up in my head. Although, I must say that I was shocked by how handsome he was when we first met. ;)

Feb 24, 7:57AM EST0

What are the best things about being a dating consultant?

Feb 21, 11:34AM EST0

I love this question! First of all, I have always been fascinated by getting to people on a deeper level, and this profession allows me to do just that. I also love being able to help, even if it’s in small ways. I love writing. I love having a portable office that I can take with me to all the odd corners of the world. I love hearing back with success stories from past clients. And I love the creative freedom that it allows me to have!

Feb 24, 7:55AM EST0

What are the best tips you will give to the first-timers who are starting with online dates?

Feb 21, 11:05AM EST0

Maybe this is too obvious, but for a total first-timer, I would advise them never to arrange to have a first date at someone’s home. This is just for safety reasons. Other than that, I would tell them to have fun with the whole process! It’s best not to take it all too seriously, as that can create frustration and bitterness. But if you see it as a fun way to pass the time, you are going to have so much more luck and success with it all.

Feb 24, 7:51AM EST0

How difficult was it for you to run a long distance relationship?

Feb 21, 8:51AM EST0

I’ve actually never been in a long-distance relationship! The longest my husband and I have ever been apart was a few weeks.

Feb 24, 7:48AM EST0

How is it important to add one’s own image on a dating profile?

Feb 21, 3:41AM EST0

Do you mean a physical image/picture of yourself? 100% important. Without an image, it is very unlikely that you will get a date. And the dates that you do get probably won’t be ones that you actually want to be (or should be) going on.

Feb 24, 7:45AM EST0

Do you run a dating consulting firm? If so, what kinds of clients do you receive?

Feb 20, 8:45PM EST0

I do! I receive a wide variety of clients of different ages, backgrounds, and locations. Although my services are open for everyone, the largest percent of my clients happen to be men.

Feb 24, 7:42AM EST0
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